Self-help books tell us that through affirmations, positive thinking and visualization, we can attract to ourselves anything or anyone that we so desire. And to a certain degree I tend to agree.
However, I believe that the reality is that the majority of people don't get to realize their goals or dreams. A song by The Rolling Stones states "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes well you just might find You get what you need." How can this be? And what are we doing wrong?
1.) Wanting the wrong things. Sometimes, we want things we can't or shouldn't have: the love of someone who is already taken, things we can't afford or even things we would be better off without. Often, the want is simply that, and we would face disappointment if we actually got what we wanted. Occasionally, we need to just "thank God for unanswered prayers" because He knows what we need better than we do.
2.) Not wanting it bad enough. There are times in life when we meet a few setbacks and simply quit trying because it got hard. Often, people get what they want because they won't take no for an answer and not because they have some special "luck". We really cannot know another person's life well enough to judge how they got where they are today. If we want something bad enough, and if it's not something we shouldn't have, we will keep trying until we achieve whatever it is we want. Persistence often works much better than "luck" in helping us get what we want.
3.) Subconsciously, we don't think that we deserve to succeed. We all have emotional baggage we carry with us. No matter how much we want to be say, the President of the United States, if we do not have the confidence nor feel that we deserve it, there is no way that we can achieve this goal.
4.) Others are dragging us down and standing in our way. It is important to try to surround ourself with those that provide a positive influence and support. Try to share life with others that enjoy the same interests, values and goals.
5.). Procrastination It is not possible to realize a dream if the path to that dream is not the main focus. Do not waste time and energy on inconsequential details that will not get you closer to the desired outcome but will only divert your time and efforts. Prioritize and stay focused on the main objective you are striving to achieve.
6.) Not going after it in the right way. Some people will go to any lengths to get what they want, even if they must do something wrong or illegal. They don't care who they hurt in the acquisition of their goal. This often backfires and the person doesn't get what they want after all; they get something else entirely. They may get a stint in jail or lose relationships that were more important than the thing they sought.
7.) Wrong Focus. My experience has been that typically people focus on the physical manifestation of what they believe is "the ideal life", "the perfect partner", "the fastest car" or whatever is the area of desire that they focus on. However, the more that you focus on what you want and not what you actually have, you're going to end up disappointed.
The reality is money is not attracted to need. Neither are beautiful people attracted to needy people.
We don't get what we want - we get what we are. If one is to entertain the notion that we are indeed able to attract to ourselves the people and circumstances that we so desire, or described another way - to create the lives that we so desire - then perhaps this gift has been given to us to not focus on the physical application of it but to be applied at a far more meaningful level - by focusing on attracting the attributes, the people, the circumstances that allow you to grow and to BE MORE rather than to HAVE MORE. There is a very significant distinction.
I like to think of it like this. Diamonds come from the earth not as shiny, polished finished and valuable items. They are unformed, dirty and often times are hardly recognizable as precious gems. Through science and concerted effort they are bought to the place where they can have enormous value (both in monetary terms but also in a utilitarian sense). Likewise - so to are our lives.
If we focus on refining and polishing ourselves we increase our use and our value. And where there is further use and value there is always greater reward - monetary not always monetary, but always in happiness and fulfilment.
The majority of things that we want are in our power to achieve. Stay focused, educate yourself and be your own best motivator. If you know what you want, go for it. Instead of focusing on getting what we want, we should focus on becoming the best person we can be and all the rest will follow. Either we will attract what we desire or our desires will change. Either way, we win.