Keeping the Memory of Deceased Loved Ones Alive at Christmas

Since my post, Remembering a Dead Father on Father's Day has been so popular, I'd like to offer ways to cope during the holidays with the loss of a loved one. Just before Thanksgiving of this year, my mother's best friends's daughter committed suicide, leaving a husband and 2 children, ages 6 and 3.

Christmas can be an especially bittersweet time of year. While enjoying all the fun and pleasures of the season, memories of past Christmases with loved ones who are no longer with us can be painful. These emotions can run the gamut from the occasional holiday blues to a longer lasting and more serious depression.

Taking steps to honor lost loved ones at Christmas keeps their memory alive and provides comfort to the surviving family and friends. Here are some ideas:

Talk About Them.

Many people hesitate to bring up lost loved ones at Christmas because they are afraid of stirring up emotions and possibly upsetting others. Many times, however, it is very beneficial to reminisce about past holidays when loved ones were still here. Enjoying a laugh about the time when Grandma forgot to take the giblets bag out of the holiday turkey or when Dad became obsessed with jogging and bought every member of the family sneakers for Christmas can relieve stress and lighten your heavy heart a bit. Every family has funny anecdotes about past Christmases when every member of the family was present. Reminiscing brings the rest of the family closer together and also reminds us that our lost loved ones are still with us on the holiday.

Cook Or Bake Their Signature Dish.

Trying your hand at recreating your deceased loved one's signature dish or dessert is a lovely way to honor their memory. Not only enjoying the dish at your Christmas celebration, but the act of preparing it will help you to feel closer to your lost loved one. Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas I serve my Grandmother's Christmas Ambrosia recipe. I am reminded of the many years that I sat in the kitchen watching her lovingly prepare this side dish for our Holiday meals. Instead of making me sad, it brings me great happiness to now serve my family this dish that has become a holiday favorite. It exemplifies that my grandmother's love and her traditions are being kept alive.

Watch Home Movies.

We are very lucky that we live in an age where having hours of film footage of our families enjoying holidays together is commonplace. Make viewing home movies of Christmases past a regular part of your Christmas holiday. If you have lost your loved one recently and this is the first Christmas without them, it may be too upsetting to start this tradition this year. Waiting a year or too until the pain is not quite so raw may be a wiser option. If your loved one was lost before your children were born or when they were very young, this is also an excellent way to familiarize them with your loved ones. Consider handmade ornaments with the deceased person's name as a way to keep him/her near.

Visit The Grave Site.

Paying a visit to the final resting place of your lost loved one is a wonderful way to honor them this Christmas. Making sure their grave site is neat and tidy and bringing a Poinsettia or wreath will bring you great comfort ad give you some uninterrupted peaceful time to reflect on their love and influence upon your life.

Make A Donation In Their Name.

Making contributions to charities at Christmas is a thoughtful and generous gesture that is always appreciated. Offering a donation in your lost loved one's name is a lovely way to honor them at Christmas. If your loved one passed away from Cancer or Heart Disease, making monetary donations to aid in research for new treatments to save the loves of other people's family members afflicted with the same disease will undoubtedly bring you comfort during the holiday season. Think about what was important to your deceased loved one. If your mother, father or sister was an animal lover or was passionate about the care and safety of children, make a donation int heir name to the local animal shelter or an organization that provides services to abused children.

Light a Candle

Use the link below to light a candle in honor of a deceased parent, child, sibling, friend, pet, etc.

Light A Candle

Whatever you do, celebrate the person's life. He/she will always be with you in spirit, in your heart.