The Powerful Effect of Words

Words are powerful. The words we use can heal or hurt. They can arouse enthusiasm, evoke joy, and unleash passion. But they can also provoke anger, inflict sorrow, and crush with despair. When speaking to others, we can use our words as daggers to kill their spirits or we can use them as music to lift their spirits.

The problem is most of us are so wrapped up in building our career, raising a family, and paying our bills that little or no thought is given to the power of words. Sadly, unawareness of this great power results in grave consequences. Marriages fall apart, friendships dissolve, and happiness eludes some of us. Rather than blurting out the first idea that comes to mind, we should pause and weigh our words carefully before speaking.

Buddha taught that the practice of Right Speech consisted of avoiding four types of speech. The first type to avoid is HARSH (unkind, mean, nasty, cruel, irritating). Engaging in unkind speech causes others to suffer. And when we cause others to suffer, there are negative consequences that will lead to our own suffering. For example, if I speak unkindly to everyone I meet, not only will they suffer, but my actions will cause me to become alienated, which will lead to my suffering. As a participant in the web of life, we have a duty to speak kindly. Kindly does not mean  hoping to get rewards of any kind. Kindly means with compassion, supporting others in their desire to grow.

The second type of speech to avoid is DIVISIVE (partisan, polarizing). Political parties (such as the Republicans and Democrats) fight for power in complete disregard for the rights of those they are sworn to protect. They maintain power by pitting one group against another. Religious extremists, in particular, are masters of this type of speech. In their lust for control, they separate and divide humankind. They oppress, torture, and kill with impunity those who disagree with them. It is this kind of speech that is responsible for the greatest amount of suffering.

The third sort of speech to avoid is FALSE (untruthful, deceitful, deceptive). Some modern businesses shamelessly reap huge profits by manufacturing lies. They rip off consumers without compunction. Ordinary people, at times, destroy reputations with gossip, fibs, and innuendos. Importantly, as we stop lying to others, we grow more truthful to ourselves. It's good to remember that it is impossible to help the world without helping ourselves. Likewise, it is impossible to harm others without harming ourselves.

The fourth class of speech to avoid is TRIVIAL (worthless, useless, idle). Idle chatter may seem harmless enough, but while engaging in it, opportunities to do good with Right Speech are squandered. Rather than idle banter, we could engage in kind and gentle speech, encouraging and uplifting our friends. We could also improve the world by using words that unite and foster cooperation. Our family life and work environment will also improve if we are honest, truthful, candid, and straightforward in all our dealings. Finally, our companions will appreciate conversations that are useful, helpful, valuable, practical, beneficial, and worthwhile.

Part of the practice of Right Speech is knowing when NOT to speak. Buddha expressed it this way:

If it is not truthful and not helpful, don't say it.

If it is truthful and not helpful, don't say it.

If it is not truthful and helpful, don't say it.

If it is truthful and helpful. . . WAIT for the right time.

Bernard Meltzer, Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Law (University of Chicago), is right at home with these Buddhist concepts, saying  "Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid."

We can practice right or wrong speech without uttering one word. Studies show that only roughly 7% of communication is expressed by words. Approximately 34% is expressed by the tone of our voice, and close to 55% by our body language.

Take a look at this example. A father is exhausted after a tough day at the office. He comes home, plops into his favorite easy chair and starts to read the paper. Suddenly, five-year-old Tommy comes in, pulls on his Dad's shirt sleeve and says, "Daddy, look at the picture of a dragonfly I painted at school today". Without removing his eyes from the newspaper, Dad reaches out with his arm, gropes around, pats his son on the head and says, "Very nice job, Tommy. I'm proud of you."

Dad's tone of voice was good and his choice of words was excellent, but the message Tommy received gets a failing grade. Tommy could sense by Dad's body language that at this time, the newspaper was more important than him. The unspoken part of the message was the most significant, and regrettably, it was devastating to Tommy. So, despite Dad's good tone of voice and excellent choice of words, he did not practice Right Speech.

Here's what Dad could have done instead. When interrupted by Tommy, Dad could have put the paper down, stood up, bent down, scooped up Tommy, lifted him up in the air, hugged and kissed him, and put him down again without saying a word. No words, yet Dad would be practicing Right Speech, because Tommy would get the message that Daddy loves him.

Besides Buddhists, Taoists also refer to and follow the practice of Right Speech. They believe we must be aware of our words and use them to promote harmony, while cultivating the wisdom to know when to speak and when to remain silent.

We don't have to be Buddhists or Taoists to benefit from their ancient wisdom. If we decide to reflect on what we say, before, during, and after speaking, we can make our words become treasured gifts to others.

The Art and Sport of Dance

Why is dance so difficult to define? What is dance, exactly? Is dance a sport? Art? Or both?

Dance has all the elements of a sport: physical endurance, coordination, practice, discipline, and even, in some cases, competition. Yet many, if not most, dancers define dance as something distinctly different from a typical athletic activity. To many, dance is a creative and expressive form of art. Just as painters use paint and brushes to create beautiful pictures, dancers use their bodies to create beautiful pieces of movement. This is especially true of ballet.

Still, there are many dance forms that must be taken into account. How can dance not be a sport when ice dancing is an Olympic event? Additionally, the International DanceSport Federation, or IDSF, considers competitive ballroom dancing to be "one of the most graceful sports" there is; they are working to include "DanceSport" into the Olympics. Dance Teams perform at athletic events. If cheerleading can be considered a sport, can't dancing in this context be considered one as well?

The issue is centered on the meaning of the word "sport." According to an American Heritage Dictionary definition, "sport" is: "An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively." Using this definition, competitive dance is, indeed, a sport. This definition, however, ignores the art and self-expression that is a huge part of dance.

A friend and dance major that I know states "I think it [dance] goes beyond the athleticism of sport because of its emotional and artistic intent. People don't realize the level of physical skill required because of the artistic level, and because they are not watching for that [physicality], but for grace and ease." I think dance is a physical act that does require hand/eye coordination, but you have to put your body to a certain time rhythm - I think that's what makes it an art form."

Others see dance as both a sport and an art form. It's an art, but it's definitely physically demanding like a sport and you have to practice and it's physically draining. It can definitely be as physically demanding as other sports. It is an art form in that many people appreciate it for the beauty of it, not the competition.

The latest dance craze on television has added further interest in the debate. On one hand, through shows such as Dancing With the Stars, Strictly Come Dancing and So You Think You Can Dance, people are exposed to various types of dance, a look at how dancers train for long hours behind the scenes and the entertainment of seeing the joy on the contestants faces as they express emotions on the dance floor.

On the other hand, however, these contestants are competing more than expressing. And competition is a term found more in sport than art.

A twitter friend, KinerEnterpries, states the following in a blog post: "Art is an expression. Competition is an Opinion. Art encourages creativity; Competition perpetuates a winner vs. loser mentality. Art embraces freedom of expression, Competition enforces rules and expectations."

The term “dancesport” is telling. Did the ballroom dancers have to change the name to make it sound more like a sport? I would venture the answer is yes. I know many people think ballroom dancing is similar to ice dancing and this might be so. I also realize that ballroom dancing is a form of dance known for competitions, much more so than other dance styles. But the question still remains: do we want dance to be a sport? Where do we draw the line between sport and art?

Although we all love a good dance competition, underneath it all, are we undermining the very thing that Art represents? It depends on the individual. For some dancers, it’s an expression of their innermost, deepest thoughts and emotions. They aren't looking to be given a score, or being compared to the dancer next to them. For others, competition helps build self-esteem. Competition makes them strive to be better dancers. But with all dancers, the love of dance is the same. Parents and teachers should focus on instilling the love of dance in young dancers. Win or lose, whether they choose to compete or not, that love of dance will always remain intact and carry them far.

I would say that, in football, referees' decisions may be part of what determines the winner, similar to dance or figure skating. However, no panel of judges hands out scores based on individual perception and bias of which team performed technically and artistically better. For example, suppose players were assigned scores on how artistically they threw/caught/ran with a ball? That would invite subjective opinion. Further, suppose that teams were all from different countries, where judges could prefer one nationality over another?


Personally, I think for some dance can be a sport and for some it can't. It depends on the cultural context and the values of the people who are doing and making the dancing. I look to the following quote:

"It takes an athlete to dance, but an artist to be a dancer"-Shanna LaFleur  My thoughts are also reflected in the following poem:

Living Instruments

The dancer's shoes lay alone,
Arms wrapped around their bodies in a deep sleep,
That fell upon them like a heavy cloak.
Yet still there is a rigidty,
That remains poised and ready for action
Waiting for the master's hand
To prick them from their resting spot,
Their pale pink flesh seems to move,
For the spirit can always be seen,
By those aware to the art.
And when lovingly they are taken,
Molded to a delicate foot to become one
Strengthened being, they retain that spirit
Awakened, they stretch and groan,
Announcing their prescence with joy.

This is what they live for,
With the strength of a bodybuilder,
These muscle-men disguised as princesses,
Bear the load, jumping and spinning,
Until once again they return to slumber,
Arms wrapped around tightly,
Savoring the spirit of it all.


It takes athletic ability to be a dancer because of its strenuous work, but to make the strenuous work look graceful and pretty you must be an artist. Art, sport or both? It depends on the way you look at it.

What do you think?

Thoughts About Success

Success. It's easy to recognize it in day-to-day actions. But what about the capitalized version - the one with the sweet smell?

At first the word conjures up images of material comfort or personal recognition. But this can change completely when we're given more information about the person and place their success within a particular context.

If you're told that a theatrical agent has never landed any of his clients a job, you might not think of the person as successful even if an inheritance comes along to provide him with a millionaire lifestyle. At the same time an environmental campaigner who lives modestly and works quietly behind the scenes to curb industrial excesses can still be considered successful. Each time the context changes it alters what we mean by success. A successful policeman is one who catches criminals; a successful criminal is one who doesn't get caught.


These examples return to the basic idea that success is the achievement of a desired outcome. The success of the people above is based on how well they accomplish what they set out to do. But even this definition can run into problems because it relies on pre-determined goals. In other words, you must know what you want to achieve from the outset.

In 1965 a chemist named James M. Schlatter, was working on an ulcer drug when he discovered the artificial sweetener aspartame, later marketed under the trade name Nutrisweet. Most of us would consider him a success despite the fact that sugar substitutes were not in his original plans. So rather than achieving a specific desired' outcome, success might be better thought of as attaining a desirable' outcome because we can accept results we hadn't imagined before as long as they're just as good.

Yet success is more than simply getting something you want or like. It tends to require some form of personal action. Action is not the same as effort. A student who passes a course through hard-studying and one sails through with natural aptitude are equally successful. But compare a slot-machine player who wins $50 with someone who finds a $50 bill on the street. Luck plays a role in both scenarios but we think of the gambler as successful because the money came from an action on his part.

When you get to the broader notion of someone being successful in their field or " a success" (in life), there is an odd factor of timing. If success was merely attaining a certain goal, income or standing, you should only need to hit your target once to count as a success forever. You either achieved it or you didn't, right? But it doesn't seem to work like that. We talk about success being fleeting or describe someone as having been successful once upon a time. This suggests that to be considered successful, your successes must be current or recent. And there's an added twist. Successful people don't automatically lose it all when they retire. Perhaps the reputation of success' can be maintained as long as it's not replaced by a condition deemed worse.


To me, there are several factors that determine individual success.

How You See yourself


The most important thing when we think of success is to see ourselves in that light. A man could have a job making ten million dollars a year and may still not be a success. Life throws many things at us. It is in how we handle those situations as to whether we are successful in life. If a man makes a lot of money but does it immorally, is he still a success? No, because to be a success in life, we have to like who we are in the process. This is why unethical moneymakers often commit suicide.

Being successful in life requires us to like who we are from beginning to end. When acquiring what we have by doing bad things, we are giving up on ourselves. This makes a person unsuccessful in life. Success isn't measured by the amount of money you can make in a lifetime. This is a common misperception. A man that measures himself this way will surely be disappointed with the outcome.

How Others Perceive You

Success is shown in those that surround you. If you are a person who is successful in life, you will have friends and family to comfort you when you are down. People will flock to you because you have shown them a kindness during their lives. Those that flock around a man when he is on his death bed shouldn't be there because they want his money. That man may have nothing to offer in the way of money but is surrounded nonetheless because of the human being that he presented himself as during his lifetime.

They say that you can't buy love and this is most definitely an accurate statement. You cannot buy love. You can make people pretend as though they love you in hopes of some monetary gain, but that doesn't mean that he/she does love you. If you have success in life, you have treated people with decency and respect. You have done all that you can to keep from hurting others. When you hurt others, you do everything you can to make it right.

Making the Best Out Of Life

Success is when you have gone to great lengths to make your life as wonderful as possible. That means the interaction that you have with others was as pleasant as it could be. You work hard when you are working and play hard when you are playing.

The true meaning of success is within us all. It is taking what you are given and doing what you can with it. A truly successful person can look back at their life and smile, knowing that they did their best.

Tribute to Oksana Baiul: Ballerina on Ice

In my previous post, I mentioned memorable Olympic performances. While those 4 represent some of figure skating's best, as a dancer, I'd like to pay tribute to someone who brought pure ballet to the ice, Oksana Baiul, shown here in her 1994 SP to music selections from Swan Lake and her exhibition routine to Camille Saint-Saëns Le Cygne The Swan, or The Dying Swan as it later became known. A true artist.

Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Love

In a world where people are influenced by what others think or how others react towards them, there is little doubt that the effect of negative interaction remains a part of who an individual becomes. It is hard to believe in yourself when everything points to something being fundamentally wrong with who people see us as. This kind of reinforcement of negativity can stem from even the smallest of remarks such as  "I knew you would fail", "You're no good at this", or "You never get it right."    Letting negative influences rule who you become is a step toward failure. Letting them become lessons in the way people perceive you to be can turn them into positive, life enhancing details which help the individual to understand self and to be able to use this understanding in order to grow. This Valentine's Day, and beyond, give yourself a gift - the gift of fully loving your own, unique self. Learning to let go. Learning to let go is the first step on the road to loving who you are. Let go of negative things people have said about you. It is their perception, rather than your reality. It's easier said than done, though is possible. Write down all those things you hold onto which people have impressed upon you. Go back in time to your parents, your siblings, and your friends and examine what people have said that is negative about you. It hurts to actually face that people are so cruel, though we are all equally cruel in our own way. Perhaps things you said to someone may appear as important on their list, though chances are you don't even think that way any more. You see, the things people say are transient. You are a real human being and cannot let what others say impede you from actually learning to love who you are. Letting go. Letting go isn't easy. Next to each of the negative things people think about you, write down what you think about others which is negative. What this does is help you to get things into perspective. What you think doesn't count to anyone else but you. If you actually think negative things about others, it doesn't mean they are going to live their lives according to your guidelines. No one has the right to insist upon that, and certainly when looked at in this light, the comments of others become insignificant if we learn nothing by them, and choose to dismiss them. To let go of negatives, try writing down positives against each one that is written. Someone says you are overweight. Your positive response could be "Yes I am, but I love food and am aware of my shortcomings." It isn't an excuse, it just makes you see that the only response you should have to a comment like that is whether you are happy with the weight you are, and what positives you feel from being yourself. Every person in the world has faults. Without them, there would be no individuals and everyone would be the same. Let go of other's perceptions of you, and learn to discover who you are.  Discover who you are. To discover who you are, write down all the things you see about yourself which are positive and bear in mind, all of humanity work towards being better. There may only be a few things you really love about yourself, but these form the foundation of growth. If it's the shape of your nose, or the way that something makes you feel, everyone has positive attributes that add to liking themselves. Recognize these and try to add daily to them. It isn't about being perfect, or about trying to be something you are not. It's about acceptance of who you actually are. What music do you like? What makes you tingle inside with joy? What makes you smile? What brings out your compassion? Be kind to yourself because everyone has good aspects about themselves which strengthen their self esteem and love for self. Getting rid of selfishness. Often people feel that self love is selfish. People who put others before themselves may actually be doing other people a disservice. They hold themselves up as martyrs, and even though not asked to run the extra mile, choose to do so and then throw it back into the faces of those to whom they give. A person who loves themselves doesn't usually do that. What they do is respect themselves and give only what they can give with an open heart. It may be small things which seem petty, although the recipient of any help from a person who loves themselves finds that this is a more acceptable gift than from a person who believes their life is ruled by being codependent on others for gratification and justification for their existence. In fact, those who have little self esteem often depend on others for their happiness and have little love for self. They over-compensate by giving, but with strings. Develop Yourself How does one develop who they are?  It's a question of taking what you are and being the best that you can be. You develop by knowing you can always improve and by trying. When someone says "You are a bit overweight", this doesn't mean you should ignore it, but you shouldn't make their thoughts the focal point of your life. You learn that others see you as overweight. When a negative comment is thrown your way, examine it. It's okay to be overweight, but are you doing the best that you can to do anything about it? Do you deserve to be overweight? Once you see that negative comments are actually helpful rather than derogative, you can use these to develop your approach to problems.  By looking at things differently, and using your interaction with others to develop and to make your own choices, you begin to grow and are able to become a whole person. Building on self love. Every time you achieve a goal, you feel happy about having arrived at the finish line. A woman who gives birth to a baby may suffer nine months of torture. When the child is born, all of that is put aside and the child is loved. Similarly in life, if you give yourself small goals and achieve them, all the pains of going through change become easier. Look at areas of who you are that you can do something about. Do you smile enough? Are you happy with the way you treat other people? Are you happy with the way you present yourself? Do you like your job? Every little question tells you something which hampers the road to liking yourself. Make small goals and try to be realistic about them. If you set your goals too high, and fail, you will feel pretty miserable about the failure. The loss of one negative part of who you are fills you with joy. Work on what you have rather than what you wish you had. You may not have the prettiest face, in the case of a woman or the most developed muscle in the case of a man. What you do have is the person inside you, and it's this person who shines once you recognize them for who they are. Recognition of self love. People who love who they are suddenly see life differently. Their positive attitude shines. Even the ugliest of people can shine as personalities simply because they look beyond the outside image and know their own capabilities, weaknesses and strengths. Developing these takes time, though everyone can. When you see the response that a whole human being gets from others, you are suddenly aware of your own significance. It makes you feel good to be you. People have one lifetime. They have one body, one personality, and a limited lifespan on the earth. If time is wasted by self hate, what happens is that the potential for happiness is eroded. Grab life with both hands. When you fall over, pick yourself up and laugh about it, learning that next time, you fall less hard and bounce back more easily. Life throws obstacles in the way of everyone. You are not alone and once you realize that every person on earth is struggling in the same way, you see things differently and change your perspective. Learning to love who you are helps you to succeed in life, and to welcome each day with an open heart and a fresh approach.

Wearing Jewelry that Becomes Your Own Style

I've always loved jewelry and have acquired a knack for choosing what looks best on me as an individual. It's more than just an accessory. Your jewelry can enhance your appearance or be a distraction. If you chose your jewelry based on your size, face shape, hair length, skin tone, and the occasion you are working in the right direction. If you base that choice on your own personal style you can create your own best look.

Consider your own personal style first when choosing your jewelry. Do you love the look of pearls? Maybe you prefer to keep up with the latest trends. Or is sporty or casual more your style? A more formal person can wear a string of pearls or simple chain with post earrings. A person who has a more offbeat personal style may choose vintage jewelry or ethnic jewelry. A casual outdoor type might want to keep her jewelry close fitting and sturdy to work well with her lifestyle.

Skin Tone

If it you have blue undertones, you have a cool tone. You probably look better with pink blush and burgundy or plum lipstick. You look best in silver and colors such as pinks, purples, blue red, white, black and blues when it comes to jewelry.

If the undertones of your skin are yellow or warm, your blush would be in tones of peach and your best lipstick colors are brownish tones or corals. You look best in gold, yellow, green, coral, orange red and brown jewelry.

Either skin tone can look good with pieces using both silver and gold. You can also chose pearls with shading that will complement your skin. For blue undertones, a pearl with pinkish or silver shading will be beautiful on you. For a warm toned skin, you might want to look for a coral or golden tone on your pearls.

However, these are just guidelines. Try holding different pieces of jewelry up to your neck and see what looks best on you. Take your time. And remember that you can always find a necklace that combines colors. If you look great in brown but love pink, look for a necklace that combines the two.

Size

One of the most obvious points is that wearing huge jewelry can overwhelm a petite woman and a tiny necklace can be lost on a large woman. However, that petite woman may be able to wear one large piece as a statement if she limits her jewelry to that one piece of accents that huge bracelet with tiny earrings. If she wants a larger look for necklace, the petite woman can wear a series of chains that will give more presence without a chunky or heavy look.

The larger woman may be able to wear a tiny pair of earrings if they are of brilliant design or in a fabulous color or rare gemstone. She would look best in larger pieces or sets, but outrageously large pieces will not necessarily be the best look.

Face

If your face is oval, you can wear a wide range of shapes, sizes and styles of earrings. If you have an oblong, square, triangular or heart shaped face, the combination of your hair style and your earrings can help enhance your face

The width of your face as well as your jaw width can be enhanced or camouflaged by wearing the right earrings. If you have a very wide jaw, having earrings that end just at the jaw will not look good. Your wide square jaw will look good with a longer sleek earring. If your jaw is narrow, you can wear an earring that is a little wider and ends just at the jaw to balance your face.

If your face is very round, you may also want to wear the elongated earring rather than a hoop, which will just make your face look more round. If your forehead is slightly narrow, a larger earring will just bring more weight to the bottom half of your face. You would do better with a button or cluster type of earring.

Costume jewelry is attractive, fun and can be pretty inexpensive. Wearing a certain color or trend that is in style(for example, shells or twist beads) can update an outfit. You do, however need to coordinate the trend with your own personal style as well as your stature. If the trend is toward huge rings and your hands are small or fat, they are not likely to look good on you, so you might want to participate in another of the current styles like a large bracelet or chandelier earrings.


Don’t forget the color of your outfits - One of the joys of jewelry is adding a finishing touch to your wardrobe. Don’t try to match colors, such as a black necklace with a black suit, Instead, consider the season and what looks best on you. Pink paired with black gives a spring or summer look. Red adds a fall or winter touch. And silver or gold is always appropriate. If you’re wearing a multi-colored blouse, look at which color is dominate or what color you’d like to bring out. Try different colors and see what looks best on you.


It is good to work with your body type, current trends and your coloring, but the key is still to chose jewelry you enjoy wearing and jewelry that suits your personal style. You always seem to look best in what you really love to wear.


A Few Extra Tips

If a clasp breaks on a favorite necklace, try using two paperclips(if the necklace has links) and link one into the other.

Be creative with jewelry. Wear an earring clipped onto a chain or ribbon to match an outfit or just create a new look.

Think outside the box - Consider using hair accessories as jewelry. For example, I've  found many pretty hair accessories such as a beaded ponytail holder that was able to stretch and fit as a necklace.

When Prayers Seem to be Unanswered

I've heard that God works in mysterious ways and have certainly found that to be true. Many times, I've prayed for something that seemingly wasn't answered at the time, yet months later, came to pass. Maybe God knew something that I didn't. I've learned that it's not about praying for the right things; it's about taking the time to listen to what God is trying to tell you. Prayer isn't a one-way dialog.

We all pray for many things on an almost daily basis. Sometimes they are the passive prayers such as, "God, please just get this traffic moving so I can get to work on time." And sometimes they are the deeper, more meaningful prayers when something tumultuous is happening in our lives. But what happens when that traffic doesn't move or the money we prayed for doesn't appear so that we can pay our rent? We become discouraged and lose faith. The problem here, is that we are not going about things correctly. It's okay to pray for what we need in our lives, but we must also be thankful for what we God has given us already. And unless we convey this thanks to Him, we are not allowing Him into our lives and therefore He cannot speak to our hearts to clue us in on what we need to be doing. We are not allowing Him to answer our prayers.

How many times have you been having a conversation with someone and though you attempt to answer them or comment on what they've said, you are unable to because they keep rambling on? You keep thinking to yourself, "Man, if they would let me get a word in edgewise, they would know what my opinion is." The same is true when it comes to prayer. If all we do is talk, all God can do is listen. He has no opportunity to answer us, He cannot tell us what our solution is.

We must also realize that making time for praise is absolutely essential. If you do not take time throughout your day to appreciate God for creating you and for creating the world we live in, then you cannot, under any circumstance, expect much good to come your way. God loves to be thanked. It's not because He is egotistical, it's not because He wants a pat on the back. He just wants to know that we realize how wonderful He has already been to us. Just being blessed with a new day of life is reason to say, "Hey God, thanks. I really appreciate you letting me open my eyes again so that I can enjoy the changing colors of the leaves You created." Showing appreciation for the small things leads to blessings of greater proportions.

If you are a parent, think about how you feel when your kids are constantly asking you for
money or favors without ever telling you thank you. Don't you feel a bit used and unloved? Don't you feel as if you're only there to serve their purpose and to heck with how you feel? In my opinion, and take it for what it's worth, God probably feels the same way. So many requests, so little appreciation.

Finally, we must always keep in mind that He knows what is best for us and He will never let us down. Maybe what we are praying for is not something that we are prepared for at that particular moment in our lives. Or maybe it's just not good for us at all and we are just not objective enough to see it. This is the great thing about God. He knows all and He knows our hearts. He knows what we need and what we don't. We may not always like His decision, but we must take comfort in knowing that it's usually for our own good.

For prayer to be really effective, we must sometimes take ourselves out of the equation. I know that this is hard to do, especially during times of hardship and unrest. But we must be comforted by the fact that God already knows what is happening, He knows what we desire, and He knows what we truly need. If we just let our situations go and release them into God's loving hands, and then simply love Him and praise Him for all that He has already accomplished for us, miracles will happen. This is not a promise from me, this is a promise from Him.